It affected me greatly, because the way we used to be together with my mother we separated and I'm still feeling that emotional pain. I'm left behind and I started giving birth on my own to children. But that alone, it has appeared as if when that event took place I lost my strength. I can no longer give birth on my own, except they conduct an operation on me, and so this is the problem that is affecting me in my life. At the time I was sitting, that never happened to me. I gave birth to my first two children on my own, but since that event took place except they conduct operations on me I will suffer because there was no-one there to encourage me. Each time I thought of my mother, how she used to encourage me, I start to cry. I will - that will continue until it became a problem. It came a time when I felt disappointed. When that occurs to me I lost myself each time I thought of that, the way we used to be until the encounter that date, and so that event always confuses me. I cannot recall events, if you see you asking me some questions, so that since that day when I lost myself up to date I cannot regain myself. Each time I thought of that, I feel confused.
Even when I'm walking alone along in the road, each time I thought of that it appears to me like I'm scaring and then I become frightened. As I'm speaking today, asked about it, it will take - it will be a long time. I used to dream again that event occurring to me, so up to date I'm still frightened because those who did that to me I don't know whether they're still alive or not and so I'm also worried about my very self.
This thing that is affecting me, my child I don't - when again when I gave birth to a child and he be with me, his age group somewhere in class 3 and class 4, but today I cannot see that child. So, that is - that is the emotional pain in me. I'm alone. If I see now my family, except my mother's elder sister and our children, but my mother's died, me alone. I'm alone. Sometimes when I thought of that I feel discouraged, but I always thought about God. But what God has designed for me, it happens. Had it not been designed by God that event would not have happened to me, but I give thanks to God because I survived. So when - after some time when I thought of that I still think about God, but this - the two children I got that --